a love note (or, for lucy at 3:00pm on a workday)

the most valuable thing that dabney got out of her graduate degree (no offense to the heller school) is a set of friends she affectionately calls "the brandeis five." in the past few years, the brandeis five have become dabney's touchstone, a grounding influence who she first bonded with over social justice work. on the surface, they are the kind of people that make you popcorn balls for halloween and attend rubber stamping parties. the joke in the superette household is that when ann comes home from a night out with some of her friends, she's all like "let's do ecstasy!" and when dabney comes home from a night out with the brandeis five, the suggestions run towards "let's go organic!"

you get the initial picture.

of course, they are all complicated, fully-realized individuals trying to negotiate long-term roles and friendships within a larger group of people. these snapshots will never do them justice: jk can and will coach you through any situation, asking all the right questions to guide you to an answer. she is also one of the most competitive people dabney has ever met. bt, often the source of much humor due to her malapropisms, never lets it get to her. she is incredibly energetic and only slightly less competitive than jk. she also never reads this blog :) dpw is whip-smart, a model parent, and has a wicked sense of humor that belies her serious/shy exterior. be's heart is huge and tries so hard at everything she does, often ignoring her own needs and desires in the process. lwj never shies from saying she is compelled to perfection, yet she harnesses that drive into always, always being the first to offer a ride, a meal, or some other kindness. she hardly ever asks for anything in return.

where dabney fits in, or how they see her, she doesn't know; she suspects she is viewed as the creative, slightly flaky - or perhaps irresponsible - and mildly amusing one, with a touch of the narcissistic (witness this website). she often thinks that, of all of them, she is the most removed from the rest of the group. as someone who is fairly hard to know (as dabney herself admits to being), and who, in the past, has too easily let friendships fade, she always wonders/worries if she is squandering an offered chance at intimacy.

but lately dabney has felt a shift in their relationships. whether or not the rest of them have felt it, or if it even exists, she isn't sure. maybe because it is fall and this season always prompts a fresh eye. it might have something to do with the fact that one of them (the first of them since they all met) moved three and a half hours away earlier this month to start a new life with her growing family. others are talking about moves of their own. the last of them just entered her 30s (happy birthday b). but dabney has noticed that they have begun saying i love you to each other. there have been confessions at the end of shared car rides home late at night. there is less of the polite and more of the honest.

it's very possible that these things existed all along, and it took dabney until now to notice (flaky and removed, remember?) what was already there. still, despite - or maybe because of - all the recent change, she has felt this friendship slide and click firmly into place.