best pick-up line ever

a last minute surprise at ashbloem and davey's wedding reception last week was the appearance of this very naked man whom everyone in dallas, texas seems to know.



"uncle bruce" serenaded the blushing bride with an unrecognizable tune. (does the title really matter in such circumstances?) all i could make out was some lyric about "balls to the wall."

upon a recommendation from the groom (whether he can recall such a suggestion is questionable), i said hello to uncle bruce after his performance/exhibition.

me: hello, uncle bruce. you were great.

uncle bruce: honey, if i was thirty years younger...
ten times richer...
and five inches longer...
i'd take you home with me!

i am happy to report that uncle bruce was clothed at this point in the evening.