feidler, the big-ass springer

sung to the tune of "rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer," of course:

feidler, the big-ass springer, had a very slimy nose
and if you ever saw it, you would even say "it's GROSS!"
all of the other springers used to laugh and call him names
they never let poor feidler play in any springer games...

then one foggy christmas eve, dabney came to say
"feidler with your nose so gross, won't you stop looking so morose?"

then all the springers loved him and they shouted out with with pee
"feidler, the big-ass springer, you'll go down in history!"