if you are driving around the suburbs of boston, and happen to see this cute little grey number, DRIVE ON BY. if you happen to go to the open house, do not walk through the french doors to the sunlit porch. do not admire the stainless steel appliances in the newly renovated kitchen. do not pause to ooh and ahh at the two (strike that, three!) bedrooms, office, mudroom, or dining room.
because if you do, you are facilitating the move to vermont of two of the kindest, sweetest people that ann and dabney know.
and you do not want that on your shoulders, do you? because as ann and dabney know, vermont is a lawless place - filled with crime, pollution, ugly vistas, and horrible schools. worse yet, it is a four hour drive from boston.
and whatever you do, whatever else you do - do not stop to admire its new paint job. ann and dabney did not spend saturday painting the garage (yes, there is a cute little garage to match the cute little house. so what?) for you to compliment it, tell them what a good job they did, and how they are the best painters in the entire universe.
so just don't even think about it.
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